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Friday Fun: More Word Play

May 16th, 2008

Continuing the idea of made up words, (BTW, I finished one synopsucks - yay!) I give you Pharmacology:

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful
consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that
it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were
Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid
form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for
use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself
a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it
gives new meaning to the names of ‘cocktails’, ‘highballs’ and just a good
old-fashioned ’stiff drink’. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the
name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

I thought this was hysterical! Have a great weekend!

You Say Synopsis, I Say…

May 14th, 2008

This week I’ve been in the SPEW (Stop Procrastinating Everyone Write) trenches. I’ve met my daily writing goals thus far, so am quite happy with myself for that. *g* I see no reason why my fingers won’t continue to type away happily now that I’m on a roll - and I just love my characters - which means by Sunday I will have met that particular goal.

But I didn’t stop there. No. I decided to also shoot for writing two, yes two (call me crazy) synopses. The dictionary gives the definition of synopsis as a brief or condensed statement; a summary. Simple…but not easy. At least not for me. I wrote my 95,000 word manuscript with a smile on my face every moment I was working on it. Well guess what? I’m not smiling now.

In fact, I’ve invented a new word. That’s right. A brand, spanking new word that makes me feel much better about my predicament when I say it. Out loud. Feel free to use it whenever you want. Unless of course you love writing those darn things. And if you do, will you write mine? Really. I’m serious. I’ll bake for you. I’ll name one of my characters after you. I’ll…oh just name your price. Anyways, here it is:

Synopsucks

And that’s the last you’ll hear of my synopsis woes. Now that I’ve got a word for it, I’m putting a halt to the agony it causes me. I’m not sure why, but just saying that word makes me happier and lifts my spirits.

So any words you’d like to share?

Must Write and a Winner!

May 12th, 2008

First off, Happy Monday! I had Chick Magnet draw a name for Julia Quinn’s The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever, and the winner is: Pam!

Congratulations Pam! Please click the contact button on the left and email me your snail mail address. I’ll get the book right out to you.

Secondly, the wonderful Ilana has posted an interview with yours truly on her blog. I’m delighted she wanted to talk to me - even though I believe I unknowingly lured her into the role of interviewer by false Wiffer status - and I hope you’ll go over there, check it out, and leave a comment. Thanks Ilana!

Now, before I subject you to some writer thoughts, I need to share with you the beautiful words written for me by Killer Lefty in honor of Mother’s Day. Because really, if this writing thing doesn’t work out for me, I’ll just go back and read this:

Dear Mom,
You are the greatest mom ever. Whether it’s 5:50 in the morning or 10:00 at night, I still marvel at how great of a mother you are. You always jump up to help me and Chick Magnet (I changed the name here) and are happy even when we are doing something almost anyone would consider boring. I love spending time and doing things with you and you always put a smile on my face, even if it is with one of your terrible jokes. I love you to death and you truly are the greatest mom ever to live.

(Takes a deep breath and dabs at eyes with tissue.)

Okay, I’ll move on…

Yesterday Killer Lefty shared with me the most popular video currently on YouTube - Guys Backflip into Jeans. They’ve received over 2 million views. The video is great. It’s simple. Fun. Easy to watch. Makes you smile. So I said to him, help me think of something I can put on YouTube to get people to know who I am before I’m a famous writer - I will be one day - because how great would it be to have a built in audience of say, a million. He said, “sing.” I said, “I can’t sing.” He answered, “exactly.”

Hmm.

This got me seriously thinking about writing and how some days I feel like I can’t. Like I’ll never be good enough. Like every word is the wrong word, every emotion the wrong emotion. But then there are some days when I think, hey, this isn’t so bad. I can do this. I can carry a tune. So if I think of people applauding me on the bad days, if for no other reason than I was willing to take a risk, think about the kudos I’ll get on the good days. And I can always go back and change the things I didn’t like on those bad days. Right? (Unlike those poor souls on YouTube.)

Which leads me to what’s on my agenda this week: SPEWing. No, I’m not sick. To my local RWA chapter, SPEW stands for Stop Procrastinating Everyone Write. Starting today through Sunday, a group of us have listed writing goals and with awesome pep talks from our leader, Dana, we hope to meet them. So…I’m planning on kicking some writing butt and whether it’s bad or good, I’m going to get the words down and worry about a pre-publicity/publishing upload later.

Besides, my mind is solely on the SPEW prize. You see, aside from the satisfaction of meeting a daily goal, Dana rewards us. Handsomely. My rewards from last time are here. So you can see, there’s good incentive to meet our goals.

Gosh, I love writing!

15 Minutes with JQ

May 9th, 2008

Fangirl moment here! I got to drive Julia Quinn to the airport last Sunday morning. Just me, her and a car. It was awesome!

Much to my delight, I remained calm and cool and acted like it was nothing, even though it was a big something! We talked like we were friends. She showed me pictures of her kids - they’re adorable - and told me a bit about her family. We shared stories about our boys eating us out of house and home. And she hoped she’d be able to get a cup of coffee at the airport.

I didn’t pester her with more writing questions, just enjoyed the short ride (darn the fact the airport was so close) and chit-chat. She is very down to earth, very warm and friendly, and someone who takes as much pride in her family as she does her writing. When we got to the airport she thanked me, told me good luck with my writing and gave me a hug. She asked if I’d be at nationals and when I said yes, she said to be sure to find her and say hello. *squee* She is so nice!
wyndham_home.jpg
By the way, she’s got a new book coming out on May 27th called The Lost Duke Of Wyndham.

So I’ve got a question: If you could spend 15 minutes alone with a famous author, who would it be? (Leave me a comment today and you’re entered to win a signed copy of Julia’s The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever. If you left a comment on yesterday’s post, or heck, go over there now and comment, you’ll be entered twice!)

Have a wonderful weekend!

Talk Romance Thursday:Secret Diaries

May 8th, 2008

Today’s TRT topic is The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever by Julia Quinn.

I haven’t read it - yet - but had the pleasure of meeting Julia after the workshop and asked her to sign two copies of the book. One for me and one for one of you! That’s right, a signed copy for one of you. Because I like you so much. Leave me a comment and you’ll be entered to win. I’ll post the winner on Monday.

diaries_125.jpg

The book is nominated for a RITA this year and if it’s anything like her other books - which I’m sure it is - it’s fantastic! Here’s the back cover copy:

2 March 1810…
Today, I feel in love.
At the age of ten, Miranda Cheever showed no signs of Great Beauty. And even at ten, Miranda learned to accept the expectations society held for her - until the afternoon when Nigel Bevelstoke, the handsome and dashing Viscount Turner, solemnly kissed her hand and promised her that one day she would grow into herself, that one day she would be as beautiful as she already was smart. And even at ten, Miranda knew she would love him forever.

But the years that followed were as cruel to Turner as they were kind to Miranda. She is as intriguing as the viscount boldly predicted on that memorable day - while he is a lonely, bitter man, crushed by a devestating loss. But Miranda has never forgotten the truth she set down on paper all those years earlier - and she will not allow the love that is her destiny to slip lightly through her fingers…

So did you keep a diary when you were young? And how old were you the first time you fell in love?

Ten On Tuesday: Julia Quinn

May 6th, 2008

I’ve been calling Tuesday, Top Ten Tuesday, but have decided to follow awesome blogger, Pam, and go with Ten On Tuesday instead. I think that offers me a little more leeway, don’t you think?

This past Saturday, I had the great pleasure of attending LARA’s one day workshop with guest speaker, Julia Quinn. I’m a huge fan of hers and well, for the rest of the week you might be hearing about it. Be sure to especially check back Thursday when I’ll be giving away an autographed copy of her latest (and RITA nominated) book.

So today’s Ten On Tuesday is ten things I learned from Julia Quinn:

1. Dialogue is more than what you say. That’s the name of her workshop and it was great! She went into great detail about what is said and how it’s said and I can’t wait to continue writing now that I’ve listened to her talk.

2. You’ve got to have a sense of humor in this business. Julia is warm and funny and can laugh at herself. Last year, her novel, On The Way To The Wedding won the RITA award while also being voted worst romance and most disappointing romance of the year. Go figure.

3. You need a thick skin in this business. See above.

4. Writing isn’t easy for even the most proficient authors. Julia juggles a family with writing like so many of us and hearing her talk about time management made me happy to know I’m not alone in that struggle. I mean I know I’m not, but hearing it from such an amazing talent makes one think maybe there’s a chance.

5. Write the best book you can right now. It might not be the best you’ve ever written, but that’s okay.

6. It’s okay to use creative taglines. If you want to show the reader what your characters are feeling when they talk, go ahead and use yelped, squeaked, gushed, bragged, etc. Not everything has to be Said.

7. There is a way to get quotes to go the right way after an emdash. I can’t describe it here because I’m not all that computer savvy, but damn I wish I’d had my laptop with me at the workshop. Julia actually stopped talking and helped anyone with a laptop format their computer to do so. Did I mention she’s really nice?

8. Readers catch everything so try to be as accurate as you can. Inevitably there may be mistakes, so be ready to face those prickly nitpickers.

9. Write what you love. Don’t feel like you have to write to current trends. Write what’s in your heart, what you enjoy. If writing in one genre is what makes you happy, then stick with that.

10. Skill will get you where you need to go. Luck might get you there faster. Or something like that. I think you get the idea.

Happy Writing!

The After Dark Tour, Take One

May 5th, 2008

I wanted to see the vampire in person.

Not a real one, of course. But a guy claiming to be a 400-year-old vampire and the King of Country Western Troubadours.

With lamb chop sideburns, an Elvis swagger, and song lyrics I’m sure would garner him a win on The Gong Show if it were still around.

I’m writing a paranormal and consider this research. I want to experience being out at night, in the depths of Hollywood, among people I don’t usually hang with. I can’t wait to see what kind of crowd there is. I can’t wait to check out the clothing, the vibe, the night dweller atmosphere. This is my first stop on what I’m calling my After Dark Tour.

7:30 PM: MacGyver and I are stuck in 101 freeway traffic on our way to Hollywood. I’ve left my suburban mom persona behind and outfitted myself as best I could with what I had. Jeans. Black boots. Black shirt. Black jacket. The blonde hair might be a problem, but what can I do? It’s staying. A Kruder and Dorfmeister CD plays, making me smile. When we get closer to Safari Sam’s - the club we’re headed to - I imagine we’ll have to change the music.

8:30 PM: We arrive at Safari Sam’s. It’s on Hollywood Blvd. In a strip mall. There’s a line outside the door. I’m not as nervous as I thought I’d be. I mean, I don’t venture out like this. Not to places like this. The guy standing in front of us in line has tattoos all over his head. The one at the base of his skull is simple: 666. I try to act cool.

8:40 PM: We enter the establishment. It’s bigger than what I imagined and not too crowded yet. MacGyver and I make our way upstairs and find a table for two on the balcony. Prime people watching location. The obvious? I’m the only one without a tattoo. I should have worn one of those long sleeve shirts that makes it look like you have tattoos up and down your arms. Or maybe not. There would have been no question about my geekiness then. The surprise? There is a vast array of people in attendance. From goth, to barely clad, to someone that might live on my block. Hmm.

9:00 PM: The Coffin Girls give a burlesque show. Yes, I said coffin and burlesque in the same sentence. It’s tasteful and entertaining. The girls are attractive - not your average coffin girl. I mean they’re tan, in good shape, no signs of dirt or neglect. One of them uses a pole. Umm, I’m not embarassed to say she was damn good.

9:30 PM: The opening band, Mr. Badwrench, plays. One word: bad.

10:00 PM: The second band, The Lonesome Spurs, plays. They’re good. Not exactly my cup of tea, but enjoyable. Besides, I’m snuggled next to MacGyver, so I’m a happy camper. We’re in a good spot on the balcony. The floor below us is crowded, standing room only. There are a few bodies swaying to the music, a few clutches and kisses.

11:00 PM: The moment has arrived. The vampire and King of Country Western Troubadours, Unknown Hinson, takes the stage. To say I was let down would be an understatement. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but he wasn’t it. He looked like a guy in a costume, taking all the wind out of my serious excitement to see a dark and dangerous entertainer. And really his followers were the same. More ordinary than not. Darn it.

I wanted me some vampires.

Old Man & The Dog

May 2nd, 2008

This was sent to me from a dear friend and I thought I’d share it today. (Besides I had nothing prepared for today as I had a very late night last night…more on that next week. Plus other fun stuff next week - all from me - and a giveaway!) The story’s a little long, but worth the read:

“I saw the car, Dad. Please don’t yell at me when I’m driving.” My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt.

Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back. At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil.

What could I do about him?

Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon. He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often. The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess.

The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn’t lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or when he couldn’t do something he had done as a younger man.

Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR to keep blood and oxygen flowing. At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky; he survived.

But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor’s orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.

My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust. Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue. Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad’s troubled mind. But the months wore on and God was silent. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it.

The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of the sympathetic voices that answered. In vain. Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, “I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article.” I listened as she read. The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog.

I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected one after the other for various reasons, too big, too small, too much hair, etc.. As I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world’s aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed. Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.

I pointed to the dog. “Can you tell me about him?” The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement.

“He’s a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was two weeks ago and we’ve heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow.” He gestured helplessly.

As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. “You mean you’re going to kill him?”

“Ma’am,” he said gently, “that’s our policy. We don’t have room for every unclaimed dog.”

I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision. “I’ll take him,” I said.

I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch.

“Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!” I said excitedly.

Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. “If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don’t want it” Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house.

Anger rose inside me. It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples.

“You’d better get used to him, Dad. He’s staying!” Dad ignored me. “Did you hear me, Dad?” I screamed. At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate.

We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.

Dad’s lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was on his knees hugging the animal.

It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the pointer Cheyenne. Together he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet.

Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad’s bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends. Then late one night I was startled to feel Cheyenne’s cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father’s room. Dad lay in his bed, his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.

Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad’s bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad’s peace of mind.

The morning of Dad’s funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life. And then the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2. “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers.”

“I’ve often thanked God for sending that angel,” he said.

For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article… Cheyenne’s unexpected appearance at the animal shelter. . . his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father. . and the proximity of their deaths. And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all.

Thank you all so much for blogging with me! Have a wonderful weekend!

Me, Forget?

April 30th, 2008

Have you ever forgot to do something?

It seems to me, I’ve been forgetting on a daily basis lately. I know. Shocking. I’ve always been organized, prepared, dependable, the go-to pal for my friends, mom extraordinaire (okay, I gave myself that title) for my kids. I’m reliable and proud of it. It means a lot to me to help others. So when it came to my attention that I’d been forgetting with frequency, I started thinking about why.

Reason Numero Uno: I’m often doing more than one thing at a time. I check email while talking on the phone. On weekday mornings, I’m simultaneously making breakfast and sack lunches, gathering homework, brewing coffee and checking email. I brush my teeth while putting clothes in the hamper. I schedule appointments/review the calendar and read the local paper at the same time. And I’m sure there’s more…I just can’t remember.

Reason Number Two: I’m in love with writing. I live and breath my characters, plot, motivation and dialogue. It knocks everything else out of my mind and I must admit, I let things go by the wayside when I’m at the keyboard. Mom, will you please do this? Will you please do that? Yes. In a Minute… Twenty minutes later…Mom! Oh sorry, I forgot. (Apologies to MacGyver too, who has on more than one occasion been neglected but doesn’t hold it against me.)

Reason Number Three: Reptiles are not a priority. Surprised you here, didn’t I? This is actually what prompted me to post this topic today. We’ve got two three pets - a russian tortoise, a gecko and a ball python. Killer Lefty asked me last week to please pick up a mouse for Capone (the snake). He eats one every week (or thereabouts). Sure I said. And then I promptly forgot. He asked me a second time. Reminded me a third time. I forgot. You’d think thoughts of Capone being so hungry he escapes his enclosure and slithers to find me himself would prompt me into action, but no, I had other things on my mind. So last night I go into the kitchen and this is what I find on the refrigerator:

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(Please forgive the quality of the picture. I’m not the best photographer.)

I laughed until I had tears in my eyes. (Crickets was added by Chick Magnet when he saw the note on the fridge.) Talk about a note to remind me. I was not going to forget now! This morning when Killer Lefty came into the kitchen for breakfast, I said, “Is there something you want to tell me?” He smiled and said, “I wanted to be sure it was big enough for you to see.” (And that’s got nothing to do with the state of my eyesight, I’m sure.)

So how about you? Are you as scatterbrained as me?

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

April 28th, 2008

Springtime in my neck of the woods is filled with blue skies, whispers of wind that carry the scent of blooming flowers, scoops of rainbow sherbet or coffee ice cream atop a sugar cone, runs around the neighborhood to eliminate the calories from rainbow sherbet and coffee ice cream cones and… baseball.

The sight of the emerald green grass, finely groomed base paths and shiny white bases stirs something in me I can’t quite explain. My body rejoices and relaxes at the same time. Whether it’s a major league, high school, or little league game, I’m enamored by the playing field. Throw nine players out there and I forget about the day that led me to the bleachers and concentrate on the now.

Regardless of which team I’m rooting for, I want that first pitch to be a strike. It’s like the first line of a novel, you want it to be perfect. It sets the tone. From there, the home team battles the visitor with hopes of crafting an entertaining, flawless and passionate six, seven or nine innings (depending on which game I’m at).

Easier said than done.

There are turning points (doubles, triples, stolen bases, RBI’s) and black moments (errors, walks). There are pep talks and pats on the back. Ups and downs. A player might feel all alone, with the weight of the world on his shoulder; or part of a relay whose success is determined by teamwork. Conflict simmers beneath every pitch, every throw, every catch, the risk of error always there. Emotions are hidden. Emotions are revealed.

I don’t sit on the sidelines quietly. I cheer, I commiserate, I hope. I cross my fingers, laugh, try to guess the outcome. As fast as I want to get to the end, I want to enjoy every page being written, every story detail being played before my eyes. Each game is unique. Each game names a new hero, gives a chance for someone to shine. What’s the best way to clobber the competition and come out on top?

The homerun.
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Last week, Chick Magnet (see About Robin if you don’t know who that is) did just that. He hit his first homerun. Over the center field fence. And guess what? I missed it. Elation, pride and sadness swept through me when he called to tell me what happened. His teammates piled on him when he crossed home plate. I’m told his grin stretched beyond his adorable ears that stick out. It was his first homerun ever, his first successful hit in over eight games. He overcame his flaws, grabbed motivation by the horns, and realized he could do it.

I told him he’s going to have to hit another. I want to see him leave his footprints in the base paths, step on each base, circle the bright green infield with a smile on his face. His story is just beginning.

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